Warning:Most of the content found on Youngmanridge
can be described as R-rated. Several of our articles feature nudity,
foul language, and graphic images.
Silver
Bullet - added 10/16/05 What can we say about this one?
Corey Haim and Gary Busey star in a movie that may have
been really really bad, instead of just really bad, had
they not signed on. If you like Busey and enjoy his energy,
this is a must-see. And if you dislike Corey Haim and
his lack of energy, this is a must-see. There's also a
werewolf in the film too, just for those with questions.
The
Hillside Strangler- added 9/18/05 Recently there has been
a trend in horror movies to showcase real serial killers
and their exploits. Some have been successful, like MONSTER,
and others have been direct to video.... like this one,
THE HILLSIDE STRANGLER. Strangely enough though, there
is a certain amount of skill that went into this movie.
It's not great, but it does achieve some power at times.
It helps though that Ponyboy Curtis, i.e., C. Thomas Howell
lends his acting chops to the mix.
Sleepaway
Camp - added 8/4/05 There's two type of people
who will watch this movie: those who saw it back in
the day and reminisce about the days of tight jeans
and male short-shorts, and the other type who have heard
it's good and have never seen it. The writers of this
site were the latter. The film does work on a disturbing
level and at the same time has enough cheese to put
Laughing Cow out of business. You know those movies
that put images in your head that you wish were never
allowed access. That would be Sleepaway Camp.
Scarecrow-
added 7/13/05 The image of a scarecrow
seems fascinating to pop culture and many have done interesting
things with it (Batman Begins, for instance has an interesting
manifestation of this sort of monster), but the makers
of this slapsticky cheese-blop of a horror movie don't
think more of a scarecrow than a one-liner slasher born
from a forty-seven year old highschool student, who also
happens to be lucky to have been let into highschool (if
you ask me). The Scarecrow in this film does no scaring,
has no apparent weaknesses, and serves only as the teenage
demolition machine. I'd like to say the movie is completely
a waste of time, but it was a lot of fun to rip on.
Tromeo
& Juliet- added 5/18/05 TROMA gives us another reason
to like the cheese-ball horror movie: there is no meaning,
rhyme or reason, elegance or sophistication to the art,
but there manages to be redeeming entertainment value.
"Tromeo & Juliet" is a Tromaized version
of Willy Shake's famous play. Narrated by Lemmy of Motorhead
and done in a style that could only belong to Lloyd Kaufman,
there are creature-cocks, lesbian scenes with Juliet,
and weapons featuring Hitler's head. Sound crazy? It is.
But if you've seen it, you know exactly what I mean.
The
Hillside Strangler- added 9/18/05 Recently there has been
a trend in horror movies to showcase real serial killers
and their exploits. Some have been successful, like MONSTER,
and others have been direct to video.... like this one,
THE HILLSIDE STRANGLER. Strangely enough though, there
is a certain amount of skill that went into this movie.
It's not great, but it does achieve some power at times.
It helps though that Ponyboy Curtis, i.e., C. Thomas Howell
lends his acting chops to the mix.
Scarecrow-
added 7/13/05 The image of a scarecrow
seems fascinating to pop culture and many have done interesting
things with it (Batman Begins, for instance has an interesting
manifestation of this sort of monster), but the makers
of this slapsticky cheese-blop of a horror movie don't
think more of a scarecrow than a one-liner slasher born
from a forty-seven year old highschool student, who also
happens to be lucky to have been let into highschool (if
you ask me). The Scarecrow in this film does no scaring,
has no apparent weaknesses, and serves only as the teenage
demolition machine. I'd like to say the movie is completely
a waste of time, but it was a lot of fun to rip on.
Shredder
- Added 2/21/05 What
could have been a cross between FRIDAY THE 13th and HOT
DOG... THE MOVIE comes up a lame slasher that occasionally
inspires a laugh or two. "SHREDDER" has accomplished a
wonderfully well-constructed smattering of dick-teases
that frustrated each one of the Youngmanriders more times
than one. In this review, we will explore all the chances
SHREDDER never took advantage of and also why GI JOE is
so much more fun to read about.
The
Jackhammer Massacre- Added 2/7/05 It seems as if Joe Castro, perhaps
the worst horror director ever, gets a little touchy when
folks criticize his films when they haven't made one themselves.
If Joe would stop making movies, people would stop tearing
them to shreds.
AX
'EM - added 7/18/04 We would rather lodge hamster droppings
up our nostrils than ever watch this movie again. This
is one of the worst, if not THE very worst horror movies.
An Afro-American slasher that looks like it was shot on
scotch tape instead of film and has sound so poor, you
might as well listen to it behind a waterfall. Let the
pain begin.
The
Pool-added
7/9/04 The Pool
is a movie about, you guessed it, a pool. Actually, it's
about a bunch of Euros getting killed at a pool. In the
process of watching this movie, we decided that we don't
like Europeans anymore.
Haunted House
The
St. Francisville Experiment - Added
2/14/05 "The St.Francisville Experiment"
proves again that mockumentary horror was only scary once.
But not only that; it also proves that these films cannot
generate tension from just the premise that it's supposed
to be real. BLAIR WITCH was the proverbial wad that was
shot for this sub-genre. I don't remember a string of
"THIS IS SPINAL TAP" ripoffs, but I'm sure there were
filmmakers out there growing whole harvests of lame imitations.
I seriously believe that people who watch a movie like
this and defend its originality should have their DNA
tested for aberrations.
Session
9 - added11/13/04 After a long sabbatical, Shortstick
returns to review "Session 9" in a not so typical Stink
Yard review. Of course, the movie isn't the typical Stink
Yard movie. (hint: it's actually a good movie). Enter
at your own risk.
Near
Death- added 11/3/04 "Near Death" is the latest Joe
Castro movie to be reviewed, and that's serious shit if
you're one of the reviewers. The film is another showcase
for Castro's gore effects, and also another chance for
him to mustard-gas us with bad story, acting, lighting,
sets, camerawork and any other term found in a filmmakers
reference. We Youngmanridgers live for this.
My
Little Eye - added 9/23/04 A group of younguns agree to stay
in a cabin and be monitored on the web. Things go wrong,
as they always do, but this movie goes wrong long before.
The initial half of the film is dull, scattered brained,
and useless. The last half, well, that's a different story.
Strawberry
Estates- added 5/21/04 A yawn inspiring knock off of the
Blair Witch Project. The damage caused by Strawberry Estates
was exponential, like a long terd finally splashing down.
Creature Features/Zombie Movies
Silver
Bullet - added 10/16/05 What can we say about this one?
Corey Haim and Gary Busey star in a movie that may have
been really really bad, instead of just really bad, had
they not signed on. If you like Busey and enjoy his energy,
this is a must-see. And if you dislike Corey Haim and
his lack of energy, this is a must-see. There's also a
werewolf in the film too, just for those with questions.
C.H.U.D.-
added 4/21/05 Cannibals
from the sewers have begun to claim victims nightly. The
police are asleep. John Heard and Daniel Stern are on
the case. Just who you'd pick for the job, huh? Well,
this movie has its glory days a little too late, unfortunately
enough. The first half of the movie is constipated with
long speeches, some of which are held in a board room
in city hall. Hey, if we wanted to watch that shit we'd
turn on a local channel. Nevertheless, when the CHUDS
come out in full force, this movie becomes really fun,
and funny.
Redneck
Zombies - added 4/5/05 This movie, what we like to lovingly
call "The Shit Harvest," has a place in the pantheon of
bad bad movies. There are some movies that were once good
and are now bad, there are some movies that really try
and are still bad, and there are some movies that are
so bad that they end up being a form of entertainment.
REDNECK ZOMBIES is none of the above. It is an experiment
in how to waste someone's time and mental energy. If it
weren't for two moderately funny scenes, I wouldn't haven't
even rated this one. Here's a hint: many scenes include
zombies rubbing guts into their faces, as though their
skin were absorbant. Fun.
The
Fear - added 3/21/05 Morty, the killer wooden man who
never really kills anyone. That's what you can expect
from the THE FEAR, a psychological horror movie that has
you begging for a conclusion after the first twenty minutes.
The three collaborators at the Stinkyard: Roachito, Giggles
and Shortstick found themselves in an existential loop
while watching this Turdo Grande. It could have been better
with the wooden man premise, but the film instead wants
torture us with monotony and lobotomize us with mediocrity.
Red
Water - added 3/14/05 RED WATER wants to be a shark movie
with an edge, but all it really does is display how Lou
Diamond Phillip's got the big Hollywood shaft after LA
BAMBA. Kristy Swanson lends her breasts to entice the
short-attention span (me want more shark) viewers, and
Coolio lends his gansta-ness to the crime aspect of the
plot-- in other words, the movie's producers needed a
popular rapper's face to sell the movie to black people.
The only redeeming elements to the film seem to be the
shark and Lou Diamond. Neither are comprimising in their
art, whether it's screaming bad lines in a vein-bursting
tirade, or chewing up a swimmer with a big bottom.
Crocodile- Added 1/25/05 Tobe
Hooper was quite an impressive director at one time. Maybe
he blew his wad on THE TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE so he could
do film like CROCODILE, but I think it's really about
turning out a cheap product for horror fans to eat up.
Sometimes, even those lesser attempts end-up being fun.
Not this time though. CROCODILE plays only one note from
being to end. It reminded me of child that's making a
sound as long as they can, waiting to run out of breath
(or 90 minutes). Oh if this movie were a child, I'd swat
the back of his head and give him reverse hiccups!
Comedy Horror/Troma
Tromeo
& Juliet- added 5/18/05 TROMA gives us another reason
to like the cheese-ball horror movie: there is no meaning,
rhyme or reason, elegance or sophistication to the art,
but there manages to be redeeming entertainment value.
"Tromeo & Juliet" is a Tromaized version
of Willy Shake's famous play. Narrated by Lemmy of Motorhead
and done in a style that could only belong to Lloyd Kaufman,
there are creature-cocks, lesbian scenes with Juliet,
and weapons featuring Hitler's head. Sound crazy? It is.
But if you've seen it, you know exactly what I mean.
Class
of Nuke 'Em High - added 1/13/05 What do get when you mix hair bands,
atomic weed, Cousin Larry, and nuclear waste? "Class of
Nuke 'Em High" certainly isn't high quality cheese, like
" The Toxic Avenger", but it isn't stinky either. Does
anyone make a better cheesy horror movie than Troma?
Dead
Alive- added 6/4/04 Dead Alive is arguably the most
gory and bloody movie ever made. There might be bloodier
and gorier movies, but they can't possibly be as fun as
this one. In a shocking development, Shortstick actually
wrote a positive review for the Stink Yard!
The
Toxic Avenger- added 5/20/04 A no-brainer for best cheesy movie
of all time. "The Toxic Avenger" has the holy trinity:
nudity, violence, and bad acting. Could it get much better?
Well yes; Troma has an uncensored version.
Jesus
Christ Vampire Hunter- added 3/23/04 EL Santo, the God of Mexican Wrestling,
and Jesus pair up to vanquish a gaggle of lesbian vampires.
Interesting concept, bad execution. At least this one
had a catchy theme song!
Exploitation Horror
The
Curious Dr. Humpp - added 2/28/05
- Warning - Extremely NSFW. Oh this movie is fun.
You wouldn't want to be caught watching it, but at the
same time, how could you resist? "THE CURIOUS DR.HUMPP"
is a sexploitation horror movie from Argentina (La Venganza
del Sexo, THE REVENGE OF SEX), and made in the 60s, boy,
is it aged to a perfection. The movie has a mad sex-scientist,
killer robots, talking brains, pretty lesbians and all
kinds of things that seem too impossible to believe.
Nude
for Satan - ADDED 1/12/05 NUDE
FOR SATAN pulls certain strings that you'd expect to have
pulled from a movie with such a title. Yes, yes, if you
are a male and happen to be a mammal as well, this movie
has plenty of scenes that will cause you to revert back
into infancy and pucker up your little nipple-suckers.
However, this is not to say that it's at all successful.
In fact, as far as Horror goes, NUDE FOR SATAN is about
as effective as someone trying to stab you with a dog
turd.
The
Defilers (Might be NSFW) - added 2/24/04 A Roughie-Sex film turned horror
movie. Despite its depravity, it almost seems comical,
rendering it impossible to avert your eyes from its main
character, Carly.
Frightmare
(2000) - added 5/12/04 You know all those slasher cliches
that "Scream" made fun of? Frightmare goes to the cliche
well more than once and comes up empty every freakin'
time.
Evil
Cult- added 5/8/04 What happens when you take one
scrawny guy with delusions of greatness and mix him with
a compound of harmless nincompoops? Evil Cult has the
answer to that much sought after question. Meet Neil Stryker,
your tour guide thru a cinematic lobotomy.
The
Leprechaun Family- added 4/17/04 Instead of a standard review of
the "Leprechaun" Series, we instead present solid, hard-core,
and scientific proof that the Leprechaun in each movie
was a different character.
The
Cheerleader Massacre- added 4/11/04 Cheerleaders are being stalked
by an unknown killer in a wannabe fourth installation
of The Slumberparty massacre. This movie has breasts-squared,
so naturally our article is not safe for work (NSFW),
but it's plenty safe to watch at home with the door closed,
hunched over your sweaty keyboard.
Uncle
Sam- added 3/31/04 A gulf war vet comes back from
the dead to kill people who aren't patriotic. George Dubya
would love this guy! Isaac Hayes stars in this luke-warm
slasher alongside a homosexual middle-schooler.
The
Greenskeeper- added 3/18/04 A fun spoof-horror movie starring
John Rocker! Golf has never been so exciting. Boobies,
blood and booties; we couldn't ask for anything more.
Well, maybe a few sequels would do.
