"Session 9"

Stink Yard Article #B3

Reviewed by:

Shortstick

Rating:

(5 outta 5)

“Session 9” is a rather unique entry here at the Stink Yard. As regular readers here might attest to (all 3 of you), we tend to review the cheesiest and stinkiest movies we can find. “Session 9” is a horror movie that is very effective at what it sets out to accomplish. It is neither cheesy nor stinky. If you clicked on this article expecting the typical Stink Yard style article, let me forewarn you that this is actually going to be a “real” review. I apologize in advance.

Abandoned in 1992, the Danvers State Insane Asylum served as both the setting and inspiration for the movie. From the outside, it looks like a stately castle-type compound in the beautiful New England countryside. If you happened to come across Danvers (I don't know why you would, but humor me) you would never guess that it once was a loony bin. Looks can be deceiving and Danvers is no exception. The inside of the asylum is run down and creepy. Knowing that is was once a loony bin adds to the atmosphere of creepiness.

Since the word Tuesday appears in this capture, I might as well explain that the time period for the movie is set within a few days. Ugh, I can't explain it.. The real reason for the capture was to show what Danvers looks like.

Unlike many “haunted-house” movies found in the horror genre, the characters actually have a realistic reason for being where they are. Before the state can use it for other purposes, Danvers needs to be cleaned up for human occupation. Among the nastiness in the asylum is a shit load of asbestos. In order to clean it up, the state hires a contractor that specializes in asbestos cleanup. A group of guys, including the contractor, set out to clean up with the place not knowing the horrors that are in store for them. Most movies in the “haunted-house” genre tend to place the characters at the scene of the haunting for completely random or asinine reasons. The guys in “Session 9” are there to do a job. They aren't there to film a lame-brained documentary (see “Strawberry Estates”) or to prove the place is haunted. Having the characters there for a reason adds to the level of effectiveness the movie displays.

While watching "Session 9", I knew that I had seen this guy in another movie, but I couldn't place it. I checked out his profile and realized that movie I recognized him from was "Sweet Home Alabama". Should I turn myself in to the council of manliness for this transgression?

The acting and directing are amongst the other effective displays found in "Session 9". While the acting isn't top notch, it doesn't detract from the film either. Even the maestro of bad career decisions, David Caruso, does a credible job with his role. It is fair to say that all the other actors are credible as well. To the credit of the director (Brad Anderson) and the cinematographer (Uta Briesewitz), there were several shots in the movie that made us say “wow, that was a pretty cool shot”. Props for acting and directing are not usually found in a Stink Yard review for good reason. Again, this isn't the typical Stink Yard fodder.

"...Some folks called it a sling blade, I called it a kaiser blade, mmm, and I hit my mother upside the head with it. Mmm... "

Giving credit for a well-written movie isn't something we throw around here much either. Steven Gevedon and Brad Anderson wrote a very good movie. They get credit for not writing a contrived reason for the crew to be where they are and for writing characters that, even with an average acting performance, are still intriguing. The storyline for the movie is also quite effective. It might be slow to some folks and I would recommend that they find a movie that doesn't require more than a handful of brain cells, like “House of the Dead”. Sorry that I didn't reveal much about the plot, but I don't want to reveal any details that might ruin the movie for those of you who haven't seen it yet. About all I can say regarding the story is that shit goes really bad for the crew and the viewer experiences a few twists and turns along the way.

David Caruso is explaining the finer points of flushing your career down the shitter by leaving a hit show to star in such fine films as "Jade".

If you haven't watched “Session 9” yet, run to your local video store and rent it (or rent it from Netflix). I told Giggles after we watched it the first time that I needed to “shake this one off”. Most of the time when one of us says something like that, we probably are referring to the piles of crap that the movie heaped upon us. I needed to shake “Session 9” off because it creeped me the fuck out.