"My Little Eye"

Stink Yard article #B2

Kill Count: 5

Reviewed by:

Giggles

Rating:

(2.5 outta 5)

This movie's entire first half is a zen exercise in patience. Watching it, one realizes that the director stumbled onto the notion that different uses of camera angles, filters and other visual diversions can spice up a movie. Okay. Sometimes it can, yes; most other times, maybe. But when it's no, it's a really, really big NO. Aside from that trifle pickiness, the dialogue is mongolidian, the acting rises just above mediocrity, and the situation is somewhat illogical (naaah, it's not somewhat; it's always that way).

But I was knocked on my ass by the second half of the film. Because well, uh, because... my God, man, it was actually entertaining! In fact, I would wager to say that the end of the movie is effective. How very disappointing when you wait in line for a roller coaster for five hours though, and it does end up being a fun, if short ride. No way are you waiting in line to go on that sucker again. So regardless of the momentum the film picks up in the latter half, that doesn't serve as an excuse, however, for the boring pile of corduroy-shaded turds that was the first half. Not even. Not minutely close. Not, not, not, not on my fuckin' watch.

The plot does become more interesting toward the end, and I won't give anything away, but let's just say that this film is based on a reality-show experience gone bad. A group of youngsters take part in a game that requires them to stay in an isolated, internet-cammed cabin and if they can stay in the place for a duration, they will be given a million dollars. The film skips about the first two months of this occupation, and then we're given the last week of their stay. It's as if the audience is supposed to be aquatinted with the characters already by the film's beginning. But we don't, and it takes us half of the movie to merely be interested in one or two of them.

And basically, that's all you need to know. Phew! Now I can start avoiding the actual review process...

Meet the players... Skeleta Longneck.

Plumpy der Skeet.

Dentis Goodhair: the guy in shaving commercials, who's usually accompanied by a woman willing to stroke his face or gleefully tuck her arm behind his.

Dilly Joe, the crazed one in the lot.

Huh, huh. American Idiot. I git it, miztor. Huhhuhhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuh. huh.

Slutty Samantha Wilbur-nostrils.

Slutty's got much to show in the opening montage. This picture has actually been blown up for heteromale convenience.

This film reverts to a Paris Hilton night vision filter more than you want. The technique doesn't add anything to the story or the mood; it just makes you appreciate other colors besides green.

Here's an interesting shot. And no, I'm not being cutesy (not this time at least)... this is a real shot in the movie and it lasts for almost a minute before it focuses on the side of someone's head, which isn't a great revelation either, since we've already seen the shot briefly before. At this point, my friend and colleague, Shortstick, commented with mirth, "We're only 8 minutes into this movie and I already HATE it."

What's this? Tim Robbins snuck in somehow?

Look closely in this guy's hands and you'll see a little miniature Randall Flagg. Either that or it's a cheap crow doll. Whatever it might be, allz I gotz t' say is: PUT THAT THING DOWN dude! WEST NILE! WEST NILE!

Dilly Joe has an oral bullet fetish.

The Pen-Cam. This is one of the few instances of creative camera-work. If the first half of the story were more engaging, it would add to the effect of the film. Ho-ho-ho-however, I don't stutter when I say that it only serves as a fuckin irritation in a movie you'd like to stop.

Julia Roberts got in this one too? Aaaah-aaah. That's just Skeleta borrowing her look. Was anyone fooled?

Oh yes, the "Suckin' on my Titties" Montage. A sex scene between Slutty and an another individual starts the wave of corny hiphop electro-fuck music that kills the movie's mood (but at the same time seems to inspire Slutty's).

Listen, please. You'll love it.

titties.mp3

Things are not what they seem at the cabin. So when the residents finally figger out the truth, Dilly Joe becomes upset and grabs a camera, which watches them George Orwell style.

He detaches the camera from it's mount and looks into the little eye.

And to note this movie's intelligence, his brilliant reply is echoed through the dying camera's mechanical ears...

sonsabitches.mp3

What else can I say about this movie? Should you watch it? Would I recommend it? Would you really care for the Stinkyard's opinion? Probably not, but hey, if you are feeling spunky, want to sling some trash at a movie and be moderately entertained, then probably you should find a TV movie. As for My Little Eye, fast-forward to the 1:00:00 mark and you'll have some disturbing fun.