THEY LIVE

Reviewed By: Giggles

John Carpenter's THEY LIVE stars "Rowdy" Roddy Piper and if I need to say more than you've definitely come to the wrong place. All you need as an action star is BEWILDERMENT and INTENSITY, and Mr.Piper's got both in spades.

We're not much for plot summaries on the ole YMR, because there are other websites that can provide coherent synopsis of any and every film, websites that do this extremely well. Weller than me, anyway.

But, if you must know and don't want to open a new tab (or window if you're into impregnating your taskbar with a lot of shit you'll never get back to) and if you really must know the story. Here it be: Aliens have come to our world disguised as human beings and the only way to see past their disguises are really hooky 1980s sunglasses.

I loved this film. Not because it's great, or even because its good. But because of Carpenter's will imposed on the audience: FUCK SUSPENSION OF DISBELIEF. You will believe, or else. And we still don't, but its kinda funny how he gets all worked up when we're still laughing.

Rowdy's got that, "Awww, come on, give a homeless mother-fucker a job," look on his face.

"I'm just fuckin' wichya."

Anyone impressed by my bundles of pasty muscles? No? Any takers? None? Hulk, is that you? Oh, Barber Beefcake... ah you sly devil.

I put these on and at once I feel so very dated.

I love how simplistic the subliminal messages the sunglasses reveal. There's no sense in writing something long and eloquent to transfer unwillingly into someone's subconscious. Our subconscious attention spans won't last for epic poems or any legal statements given with software and electronics or any legal statements at all for that matter.

Do me baby.

If you haven't seen this film, just let me say quickly that there is an extremely funny, prolonged fight scene that begins with this image and continues on, and on, and then continues over again. To say the entire scenario is great, well, is accurate to an extent, but I'd prefer to call it supertastically-fantafuckingreat. Although that would never work subliminally, I'm quite aware.

The premise is simple: PUT ON THESE GLASSES. THEY WILL MAKE YOU SEE SOME WEIRD SHIT.

But the response...........

GET THOSE DAMN 80s GLASSES AWAY FROM ME! BLAM!

And the retaliation equals instant Anger Boy.

So if you're ever in the mood for an unintentionally cinematic giant of cheesy greatness, you'll do yourself good by renting this or just blind buying it. The plot isn't even that great, but the conclusion.... oh Hey-Zeus Kristo. The ending, the finale, the last ten seconds is the greatest explanation of tone I've ever seen.

It's like Johnny Carpenter said to himself, "Damn, I guess I started out making an action-scifi movie and ended up with something absolutely hilarious.... Hmmm, I better make sure the audience knows I've been kidding on purpose this whole time. I did do HALLOWEEN and THE THING for godsake."

Put Your Sunglasses on and Return to YMR