"The Hillside Strangler"

Stink Yard Article #B20

Reviewed by :   Giggles Rating :   (3.5 outta 5)

There has been a trend in horror movies to indoctrinate real serial killers into common slasher movies. I've seen BUNDY and DAHMER (2002) and I have to admit that each film was morbidly intriguing. As is this movie.

I need to make something clear I guess though, since this portion of the site deals exclusively in cheesy horror movies. THE HILLSIDE STRANGLER is not cheesy. It's gritty, disturbing at times, and actually powered by some overlooked performances by Nicholas Turturro, Lin Shaye, and the Outsider, Mr.Pony-Boy "Sideout" Curtis himself:

There will be so factoid smacking around about what the movie gets right from the real murders and what it gets wrong. I believe, from mild-research, that the film takes more liberties than not. But hey, we got the SOULMAN starring as serial killer Kenneth Bianci. Wasn't this what everybody was waiting for anyway?

Turns out that Mr.Bianchi was a crybaby mama's boy. "They pushed me down on the last hopscotch square Ma! The double square that shows you finally made it. Those buttholes !!!"

Then he meets a sadistic bully named Angelo Buono (Turturro), who happens to have a Perfect 10 on the hatred level for children, animals, fenceposts, grapefruit, things with cursive writing and most especially women. Unlike the other killer, Bianchi, Angelo has an unbridled loathing for his mother.

Angelo invites Bianchi into a sleazy world of filthy women and pristine drugs. They get a whore-syndicate going and start making some money.

BEHOLD: The seedy-side of C. Thomas Howell.

Yikes! Those x-ray sunglasses are terrifically ugly! Take 'em off!

"Those are quality sunglasses you undisciplined cretin!"

In the pimpin' world, some folks have to rely on cheatsheets to track customers. It saves time when taxes are due.

It's hard to tell in this picture, but this old man is actually watching a stripper dance as he begins to snort a line of coke.

Now.... while I don't particularly advocate the behavior, can you imagine being seventy-nine and having an opportunity like this?

Most folks his age are wondering whether they'll empty their bowels in the toilet or on the ottoman in front of their wicker chair, but this guy's thinking: Nope, gotta get my swerve on, and this pixie dust is just the ticket!

"Don't be givin' that old man any more of our snow Bianchi! If the goddamn guy was a supervillian he'd be called The Aardvark."

I love this. It wasn't enough to moon two serial killers, but this chick literally drives her underclothes deep into her ass-crack. That's heart, ladies and men. That's all heart.

Angelo's mother (Lin Shaye) has a really good confrontation scene with her malicious offspring. The scene was too good for anything we at THE STINKYARD have ever been involved with. But then again, the scene was probably too good for this movie also.

Hopefully Angelo's dog Vito never gets a bead on you. Because if he does, you might as well just hand over your tits or balls right then and there.

To conclude this very coherent and free-flowing review I'd like comment on this scene. Now, I figure that two things could be happening here.

1) C. Thomas Howell figured, in his own research of the character, that Kenneth Bianchi danced like he had a chinchilla in his boxers, or

2) C. Thomas was really trying to dance.

I'll let you be the judge and I'll just excuse myself. Not because I can't form an opinion of my own, but really just because I've pissed myself looking at this picture.