The
Master List or....
Things
we learned from the Discovery Channel while impared..
Page 6
Download
the .pdf
From the "Killer
Ants" Special
- They're fierce and unpredictable (ok,
this was a commercial for the ultimate guide on Volcanoes)
- Tonight the ants will put on their
finest show yet
- Army ants can mount an impressive
defense
- This is one the true wonders of the
natural world
- Discovery teaches us that when ants
move, Latin jazz music begins to play.
- Ants can hitchhike
- All the usual suspects were rounded
up
- For little fucking insects, ants
are really advanced
- In Costa Rica, ants are people's friends
- Bulldog ants are frightening and primitive.
They can kill a man in 4 minutes.
- Ants are more dangerous than any creature
in Tasmania.
- For many Tasmanians, their first sting
starts a life long hate affair
- The jack jumper is a nasty thug.
- Sinister ants live in East Africa.
- This is no orgy of affection
The
nasty thug that is the jack jumper |
From "Punkin Chuckin"
Special
- Speed + height = distance
- The secret is power
- Larry & Bill are red necks
- Christen your pumpkin with beer and
don't forget to tag it up with purple spray paint
- The lord talks to people who shoot
pumpkins
- Delaware politics are shady
- It's pumpkin chuckin on Discovery
Channel
- All you need is a personality or a
freakish condition to chuck pumpkins
- True pumpkin chunkers never say die
- If your catapult has duct tape, you
is fucked
- World Champion pumpkin chuckers drink
Strawberry Hill
- He was more successful as a sideshow
freak than a train robber
- Humiliation, torture, no problem....
Bring it on!
From the show called,
"Weird Nature": Symbiotic Relationships- The affects of
drugs and alcohol on animals
- Sloths are really, really slow!
- Some parasites look like sperm
- Leeches are like eggs . . . first
they were good for you, then they were bad for you, now they are
good for you again.
- Honey badgers are awesome!
- Dolphins are highly successful predators
- Humans and dolphins really get along.
With the exception of those that get caught in nets. Humans get
along better with dolphins than they do with other humans.
- Commercials, while sometimes entertaining,
are always annoying.
- Salamanders can re-grow a leg in three
months.
- Ants clean and condition.
- Nicotine is the tobacco plants natural
insecticide
- Lemurs are vicious
- If you drop your cigarettes on the
ground and a hedgehog eats them, you might have a fight on your
hands.
- Advice for Lemurs: you know you're
stoned when you can't hold a millipede in your paw any longer.
- Bees can get drunk.
- Alcoholic monkeys make great leaders
- Before we ruled the earth . . . we
were pretty much nature's bitches and got fucked up a lot.
- Reindeer trip on 'shrooms.
- That means that Santa's reindeer are
high!
- Bee bouncers treat all drunks with
the same amount of disdain
This monkey
is preparing himself to become a great leader in his tribe
of monkey drunks |
AND LAST BUT NOT LEAST:
It’s not
late; it’s just that this show is fucking disturbing.
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additions in the Forums!
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