The Master List or....

Things we learned from the Discovery Channel while impared..

Page 5

Download the .pdf

• “All the power you need, in the palm of your hand!”
• You guys need to move apart so I can get to the cookies.
• I can call Kalamazar for .75 cents… you can too!
• From the National Geographic Channel (NGC), undisputed truth that inside every pyramid is giant cock . . . "Archaeologists go inside an egyptian pyramid to explore a mysterious shaft that has been blocked for thousands of years."
• Really all you need to be a pot head is a lot of corndogs, and a lot of mustard.
• "Being small is an evolutionary advantage."
• "You can't expect a 74 year old woman to know what to do with a snake like this."
• Fox Sports in Espanol is the soccer channel
• The tribe women look like black dudes with tits.
• Beat the plant, get some fish.

• That's rigoddamnamazing!
• Tribe people have a shitty sense of humor. I think it goes without saying, sense of humor is directly correlated to the degree of cultural evolution.
• Size is irrelevent to the Baka tribe.
• Only women go dam fishing.
• What if the hokey pokey really is what it's all about?
• The problem is that he was too erect from that start
• Because you just can't keep in touch with a fruitcake
• While some species can be aggressive, the one's they've bagged aren't.
• You know whats cool about foreign movies - you don't know who the good and bad actors are.

• What's the point of world traveling . . . if you live in America, the rest of the world is pretty much like the place you live now, just dirtier and older.
• Science can make you a liar
• We're very sorry about that, we love people AND we love elephants
• Collecting dung samples from an angry, wild elephant is risky
• When scientists speak with an English accent, it's seems to make them more legit
• Romans seem to mix their sports with bloodshed.
• Ruins are always disappointing.
• You fucked, Dr. Martin Cracker.
• Discovery is being condescending about the coliseum.
• Stop your falandagent shizznizzlery!

• When science has to turn to history, we're all fucked.
• You gotta get up into the hypogeum layer. Chicks like that shit.
• Survival of the fuckin' ugly.
• Discovery's commercial rhetoric has you sold in two seconds flat.
• If you have a widow's peak and a beard, you are a man.
• Look at that! A big ass log going down a hill.
• That's why I'm not worried about it. 'Cause I knew it was going to happen.
• They're tough old birds.
• What's mine look like? A butt-hole. Well then what does mine look like; a butt-hole with wings?
• Taste the wrath of my spoon!
• More important stuff is at hand
• I just had a real profound thought and now it's gone.

From “The Ultimate Birds of Prey” special

• The typical bird of prey has over 7,000 feathers.
• That’s a good one, but you need to write all that shit down.
• It depends on speed to catch its prey in the air.
• Could you imagine a little bird all cracked out on speed?
• “Steal from other birds’ nests to afford your speed.”
• That sounded like an advertisement for stealing.
• Oh shit, the big-D channel’s getting interesting.
• It doesn’t pay to be a choosy bat.
• Showin’ that bird tear open a carcass behind a graph makes it more legitimate.
• I didn’t know there were different species of Kites.
• Owls got to KFC like 3 times a day!
• But eagles avoid gayness.
• When you become the prey you whine like a bitch.
• It cost one hundred dollars to look like a jackass.
• Legs? “I’ve got one!”
• With all that money at Croc Hunter Steve-O’s Australia Zoo, you’d think that fool would build some gates. They’re always throwing crocodiles over the walls and shit

Next -->

Return To YMR.COM