The Master List or....

Things we learned from the Discovery Channel while impared..

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• Dam building is complicated and it takes a long time
• As dry as it gets, its not going to move readily
• Prof. Crow attacked the problem by air
• The dam rose out of the canyon like a checker board
• When Discovery gets interesting, the room becomes silent
• There are big air conditioners on Discovery
• Dams are built like legos
• It would hurt if you fell off the Hoover dam, did you see how high that shit is?
• It’s just a fucking dam
• I’d like a job at the Babcock and Wilcox Co.

• Sharks eat folks
• Narrow escapes is the fuckin’ shit!
• Mud fucks shit up
• Fuel + air + heat = fire
• People cry after their houses burn down
• There isn’t much escaping on Narrow Escapes
• Discovery doesn’t explain shit very well
• The president can initiate the end of the world
• Discovery makes me want to bite my hand
• The principles of flight are based on lift and thrust

• It looks like retardinese
• When your on the receiving end of it, you sure can feel it
• The Discovery Channel is run by the devil
• That’s what I’m saying Man-Brother!
• That’s gay-ass shit when you die.
• Look at him; he always wants to destroy shit.
• So, we gonna git a sandwich or what?
• That’s a fable in and of itself.
• It’s not wise to go down to where the headlight fish can get you.
• That fish has a brown derby for a brain! Look, look!

• If you look close enough you can see different faces in the brain.
• You’d see it too if you just turned around, Mr. my-back-is-turned!
• Ow! I cauterized my mother-fuckin throat.
• Well I need weight gloves on when I go to take a piss.
• Conan seems to have a problem with camels.
• It would be tough to choose between becoming a fight choreographer or a fireworkologist.
• Japanese people think up some crazy shit. Take Transformers for an example.
• No way man. That’s archaeology baby--- turn that shit up!
• Hey, uh, whatta you got there?
• You’re acting like a giggling little bitch.

• It might not be that cool, but it’s $9.99 cool.
• Roachito says over the phone to the Pizzaman, “We’ll smoke you out if you hurry.”
• Horses are dumber than dogs. They need to be hauled out of ditches and shit.
• The shovel brigade is thoroughly mucked up.
• Horses are imbeciles.
• Eating meat changes everything.
• This is a very chore-ious task.
• Fuck. I wish I’d never even heard of a funnel-web spider.
• Being kicked by a gorilla is a privilege.
• Even if you live a primitive life, a pack of cigarettes is still really important.

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