| "Discovery List" Digressions |
Hopefully explaining some of
these digressions, tangents, and re-occurring themes
will help to make the list a little more understandable. |
| |
| Commercials |
The Channel
has alot of commercials and sometimes its just as
funny to comment on the commercials as it is to comment
on the shows. |
| |
- Discovery commercials are stupid
- "You need the love monkey"
- "Oh, it's Ronco"
- Discovery has alot of commercials
about itself
- "Look at the detail on that
peach"
- Discovery has wrestling commercials
- AM Gold is not sold in stores
- These commercials are more ridiculous
than swamps
- "All the power you need, in
the palm of your hand"
|
| |
| Scientists |
Being a channel
that has something to do with scientists, you see
alot of them on it. You can't help if you make some
observations about them. |
| |
- Scientists are not funny and they
are definitely losers
- Scientists dress like Mr. Rogers
and are brainless
- Sometimes the animals are more
handsome than the scientists
- All scientists seem to be bald,
shaky, old, and wear funny hats
|
| |
| Uncle Fester |
Uncle Fester
was a scientist or engineer or worker on the Boulder
(Hoover) Dam. We kind of went off on him. Really,
it was some poor bloke that reminded us of Uncle Fester,
so we renamed him. |
| |
- Uncle Fester is a dam worker
- Uncle Fester likes to talk about
trains
- Uncle Fester likes speaking of
destruction
- "Didn't I say no more Uncle
Fester slurs?"
- Uncle Fester has big ol' liver
lips
- Uncle Fester is old and decrepit
- Uncle Fester wears crooked glasses
- Uncle Fester speaks gibberish
|
| |
| Fat, Old, and Ugly People |
We
really don't need to explain this one do we? It should
be noted that we really fat, old, and ugly people
have feelings too. |
| |
- Many human beings have been hit
with an ugly stick
- The fountain of youth don't cure
the ugly
- Old people look trippy
- Captain Jack is fat
- People on the Mississippi are fat
- Chicks are ugly on the discovery
channel
- Old people are jowly bastards
|
| |
| Dams |
For
some reason, we caught alot of shows about dams, therefore
we made alot of comments on them. |
| |
- Dams can become buoyant and float
away! (This is really scary if you think about it)
- It's the dam structure of the dam
site
- It takes along time to build a
dam
- It would hurt if you fell off the
Hoover dam, did you see how high that shit was?
- It's just a fucking dam
- Dam building is complicated
- Only women go dam fishing
|
| |
| Dick Jokes |
There
are a few dick jokes in the list. Most of them came
out of nowhere and don't really have anything to do
with the Discovery Channel or "The List." |
| |
- The sphinx looks like a cock
- Inside every pyramid is a giant
cock
- My dick is so big, I gotta throw
it just to take a piss
- Well I need weight gloves on when
I go take a piss
- They use a shoe-sizer to measure
my cock
- I gotta go to Big-5 just to size
my cock
|
| |
| Porn Magazine |
Like
we explained in the master list, the channel got boring
so we started looking at a porn magazine that Roachito
bought at the liquor store. |
| |
- The "Best of Club International"
is the best porn magazine around due to the table
of contents
- It's the perfect pussy
- Helen got a big ol' pussy
- You could fit a light saber in
her asshole
- She's tiny, I could bounce her
all over the place
|
| |
| Video Games |
Roachito
and Giggles thought it would be funny to make comments
while they were playing video games. |
| |
- Activate harpoon!
- One more pass...
- Detach cable!
- This video game is a whole fucking
movie
- That's gay ass shit when you die
- Look at him; he always wants to
destroy shit
- I can't play this level no mo
- Yo! Anotha levallll!!!!!
|
| |
| Horses |
| For whatever reason,
we decided a few times that horses deserved our scorn.
It should be noted again that horses are fine creatures
and we really have nothing against them. |
| |
- When horses are born, they are
disgusting
- Horses are dumber than dogs. They
need to be hauled out of ditches and shit
- Horses are imbeciles.
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